Refine Me

Refine Me by Jennifer Knapp

I come into this place, burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains, for wars I fought for my own selfish gains

Your my God and my father, I've accepted your son
But my soul feels so empty now, what have I become?

Lord...
Come with your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My will has deceived me, please come and free me
Refine me

My heart can't see, when I only look at me
My soul can't hear, when I only think of my own fears.

And they are gone in a moment, your forever the same
Why did I look away from you, how can I speak your name?

Lord...
Come with your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My will has deceived me, please come and free me
Come rescue this child, cause I long to be reconciled to you

It's all I can do, to give my heart and soul to you
and pray..... and pray..... and I will pray...

Lord...
Come with your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My will has deceived me, please come and free me
Refine me

Refine me... Refine me...

Pictures

My newest nephew




Holding the baby

Babies!

For those who don't know, my sister had her baby this past Tuesday night, a healthy little boy named Elijah. My sister said when she came home from the hospital Nate was excited to see his new baby brother and kissed his toes. That was the first and last bit of love he showed Elijah. Now he seems to just ignore him.

Friday night I went out to dinner with some of the girls from church. I'm not really sure if I'm glad I went or not. I wasn't that hungry, I was tired from work, and I didn't really feel like contributing to any of the conversation. One girl was discussing her current major of psychology and talking about all the volunteering she did with the special ed kids in her middle school/high school. She sounded very happy and idealistic. I don't know why this annoyed me so much other than the fact that I was feeling grumpy and some of what she said reminded me of me maybe 4 or 5 years ago. I need an attitude change; I'm too young to be so cynical.

Transitions

During our discussion Monday night at home group I realized how much I don't like unexpected change. I tend to stress and worry about events way in advance so that by the time they roll around I'm fine. In December 2004 I decided I was going to move to Georgia when I graduated. I spent the next 8 months talking about it and mentally preapring myself so I would be ready when it happened.

The day after I was contemplating my dislike for change, my supervisor called and asked if there was anyway I could rearrange my schedule so I could go to another school serveal days a week. The speech therapist there will be out for the next month recovering from surgery and they need someone to cover her kids. My caselaod is really low, so I was able to make the time, but it meants flipping days I'm at different schools, pulling kids out of different classes, and driving 30-40 minutes between schools. I'm not sure how I will fit in the IEP meetings I need to with no flex time in my schedule.

But, I'm thankful that I have a job. And that the kids I'm taking on are elementary age so at least it'll be moe of what I like.

Oh, and thanks for those who have been praying for my interviews. The one I had on Tuesday went very well and they are passing my name on to the princiapls for further interviewing at specific schools.

I've got a pretty nasty cough that is allergy related and medicine really isn't helping. The nurse at school suggested I see a doctor because I have symptoms of asthma. I don't have time to see a doctor, so I'm not really sure how that's going to work.

So life's stressful but I'm appreciating more the great friends and family that I have and all the little things I take for granted :)

Back to reality

This past week was wonderful. No work and I got to sleep in and waste my time being unproductive if I wanted to. My nephew loved playing with Thomas and I got to sneak in a couple of pictures of them whcih will make there way here once I get them from my sister. Too bad I didn't get one of Thomas and my nephew dancing ;)

Here's one I took awhile ago of Nate "playing the violin".



Yeah, yeah, I know I'm short.



Taking a break from hiking........