Working Man Hands

I want this to be my desire.....working man (or women, for the politically correct) hands

I guess silence is not an option at this stage
I've been comfortable too long now, turn the page
I see shadows all around me
But to me it's proof of Your light

Show yourself to me, so I can show you to them
Give me what it takes to let me go...
There's a world out there that's dyin'

Father please forgive them
For they know not what they do
Father won't You show me how
To have working man hands...

You said if you love me you'll obey me, I've wondered why
You gave Your life for those around me, so should I
God forbid that I should stand before You
On that day, with unblemished hands

Show yourself to me, so I can show you to them
Give me what it takes to let me go...
There's a world out there that's dyin'

Father please forgive them
For they know not what they do
Father won't You show me how
To have working man hands...

Working Man Hands By Jonah 33

?

People often ask me how I like work and I never really know what to say. You'd think that would be an easy question to answer, but my feelings about it change so dramatically that I can't ever decide how I really feel about it. It stresses me out, the kids have poor behavior and seem to be making little to no progress, I always have a mountain of paperwork to do and meetings to schedule, and I feel like I don't know what I'm doing with the kids. So I find myself feeling like I am just wasting everyone's time seeing these kids. Some of these kids are never going to get better and the others I feel like my therpay is lacking and they would need someone who knows more or is better to help them. My middle schoolers and high schoolers with attitude problems annoy me, and they're not like my preschoolers who even if they are annoying are at least cute. And then there's the hair pulling, biting, hitting, kicking, etc. that I have to worry about with my kids with autism and severe emotional and behavior disorders.

But then sometimes when I think about my job, I feel like I can really see how this is doing God's work. I'm working with some of the kids that no one else wants to work with, that can give me nothing in return. It really feels like a ministry to these kids and their parents, showing God's love to them. And I find myself growing attached and loving the ones that you'd think would be unloveable, through no other means but God's grace.

I've gotten compliments from parents and teachers saying I am doing a good job. But on days like today when every therapy activity falls flat and I feel like I'm b.s.ing my way through everything, I question my competency.

So, the verdict is still out.

How cute

Trick or treating with my nephew and the neighbors. The train conductor is my nephew, fireman is Justin, and race car driver is Michael.