Thankful

I've been reading through some of my old journals and I ran across this that I wrote a few years ago. It still rings true.


When I am brokenhearted I will be thankful that I experienced love with such deepness
When I don’t want to get out of bed I will be thankful that I have a bed and roof over my head.
When I feel shame for my sin I will be thankful that God forgives me.
When I feel shame for committing the same sin again I will be thankful that God’s mercy never ends.
When I feel like God doesn’t care or hear me I will be thankful that what I feel doesn’t change the truth.
When my family drives me crazy I will be thankful that I have a family.
When tears pour from my eyes I will be thankful that I have a better understanding of joy.

When I lost my first love I was brokenhearted. I let my guard down, gave my heart to another, and it came back shattered. There was no one else to turn to but God, for He too has known the pain of a brokenheart. He gave his heart to the world and the world killed him, rejecting his love. Yes, he was a man of sorrows. When I give my pain to Him, allow Him to heal my heart and be the first love in my life, he joins in my suffering. He weeps with me and cries out at the injustices in this fallen world.

And then something miraculous happens; something I still don’t fully understand. Somewhere, sometime in the midst of my sorrow, where there was once only darkness and despair, light and hope creep through. There still may be much sorrow. The light and hope may not last very long, but still they are there, reminding me that God is faithful and giving me the will to go on. Someday when I am but ashes to this world I will live fully in the light and no longer need even the hope. For who hopes for what he already has? I will rejoice for eternity with my brothers and sisters in Christ. And I pray every day that you will be there with me.