Letting Go

Last week and this weekend ended up being filled with joy. It was a nice rest from the week before. Managed to get caught up at work, played with my nephew, had dinner at my sister's, slept in late Saturday, enjoyed Christams show, and saw Narnia.

Then Sunday night I found myself struggling with an acute case of loneliness. It struck me suddenly and scared me with its intensity. I recited scripture and cried out to God, but all I heard was the echo of my own voice. Talking to family/friends only left me feeling more broken inside. And in this brokeness I found myself once again having to surrender my fear, desires, and pain over to God. And eventually the loneliness lessened and joy returned.

When I was talking to one of my friends on the phone, he was asking how do you surrender your dreams to God, how do you let go? My answer: Usually kicking and screaming. I either get to the point where I tell God I want to surrender, but I can't do it on my own so I need His help. Or, I resist surrendering until I'm broken inside, and then I finally am willing to let go.

Looks like God wanted to drive that point home to me last night.

This song also helps me........


Gripping on so tight
with the security I have inside
Knowing what is right
holding onto my pride

Letting go.........of the things I hold so dear
Letting go........ of all my pain and all my fears
Letting go........ of the things I hold so dear
Letting go........ of all my pain and all my fears

I have been brought to a place
Where I want to give up everything
Where all I can do is seek your face
And my brokenness I will bring

Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on even though my faith has been built so long
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on to what I know

I'm letting go


"Letting Go" by Jeremy Camp